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On reading your text11 years ago
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4 comments:
I like--both the notion of becoming "your prevention" and wanting both the possibility and impossibility of love. Resonates with my own literal move away from religion and on a more metaphorical level if we see "Lord" as representative of optimism or hope or Truth etc.
i wouldn't disagree that "lord" here represents a kind of hope or truth, but more particularly "selfhood". it's open to interpretation, however, since i was in a state of mind when i wrote it that i can no longer recall. ;)
When you become the prevention, are you getting in your own way? are you seeing the edge of your delusion? are you moving beyond the need?
in a way, yes, except i don't think "moving beyond the need" is applicable.
i think i was opining about the paradoxical nature of desire: when you desire something, you believe it's a real possibility, but, as a real possibility, it isn't what you truly desire. as a "real" thing, it's beyond the realm of desire. in order to keep desire alive, the object of desire has to remain impossible. what we desire is to be in a state of desiring, not to possess what we desire. in other words, if we want god to exist, it's because we doubt He/She/It really does. it's our non-belief that makes us believers and vice versa (just that atheists wouldn't define god as "god", since "god" is a concept inexorably commingled with belief). if such a thing as perfect faith in god existed, there would be no desire for god to exist, because there would be no lack. and without lack (a need to believe), god can't exist. so in order to preserve one's "desire for God", one has to preserve his/her/its impossibility.
this leads to another idea, about the difference between believing and saying that you believe. what i realize is that religious belief doesn't bother me. it isn't believing that i find morally repugnant, but saying that you believe.
one could apply the same thought to utopian or romantic thinking and all other kinds of faith/hope based structures of desire. I wouldn't look too hard for any comment here on Mormonism or any other specific religious "saying".
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